Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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