i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
