what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
