The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize