You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize