So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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