The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
