Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
