my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
