Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
