apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
