I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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