My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
