just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
