So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
