If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize