And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
