I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
