Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
