he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Randomize
