im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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