dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
