why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
there was a trapeze. enough said
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
