You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
