The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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