handjob tips. give me some.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Naked Twister starts at high noon
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You ruined the universe
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
