I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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