I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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