so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
