I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
