yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize