She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
