I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Farmville is her only friend.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
