I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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