So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
