The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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