i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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