He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
