I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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