oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
handjob tips. give me some.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
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