Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
