I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
