well I can't set my house on fire every night
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
