addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
