And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Randomize
