Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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