I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
