No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
