I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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