so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
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What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
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I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You ate ashes out of my bong
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize