For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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