How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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