Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
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I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
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Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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