yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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