Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
4 words: hood of his car
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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